The Gash

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Location: Memphis, Tennessee, United States

I was told I was in the Science Club in high school. I don't remember it. I bet it was wild.

Sunday, December 17, 2006

In Sweet Smell of Success, UberMensch Critic JJ Hunsecker (Burt Lancaster) tells the lecherous publicity hound Sidney Falco, “You’re a Cookie Full of Arsenic.” JJ pretty much sums of my feelings about STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP. It is sweet, chewy, addictive, and poisonous. Aaron Sorkin’s new show is acid as the inside of a broken carburetor I once refused to throw away: it operates on the kind of devil-may-care nihilism that usually drives punk rock and ironic garden parties, and then makes up for it by connecting every emotion dot to form a prime-time smiley face. It is brilliantly acted and written, even more brilliant considering the utter implausibility of its premise. But Sorkin, like Matt Perry’s character on the show, has the kind of magic-wandpen to keep a mixture of saps seated that includes those who hate it, those who love it. As the show keeps cancellation sirens, the question will remain as to whether or not those indifferent will ever start watching (or stay up past 9 PM, one).

What works about STUDIO 60? The acting. There are few weak links in this cast, though it is pretty hard to believe that Sarah Paulson is either as a) talented or b) sexy as the show makes her out to be. Minor characters played by Lucy Davis and Nate Corddry are consistently interesting. Top acting honors go to Steven Weber, the boring lothario brother of the boring straight-laced brother from the horrendous WINGS, finding new life as a sleazebag who struggles with his sleazebag convictions. The show-within-a-show also gives us a chance to see what it might be like to write against a weekly deadline, and the horrors and pratfalls of putting on a live show. And the Soap Opera is fine.

What doesn’t work? The politics. The premise. The preposterous asteroidical ticking-clock nature of each episode. Rather than give us a glimpse inside a TV show (which the writers seem to know about and are good at conveying dramatically), we are instead subjected to the constant contrived dilemmas of the “Will they or won’t they make it?”camp. I don’t know which episode was more ridiculous: the show where everybody got the flu or the show where a character gets arrested in a small-town that magically, symbolically becomes the personification of everyone who hates the show and everyone the show hates. Yet with all this drama, the show still struggles to find viewers. I blame the acid.

Also, I blame the much-maligned titular show-within-a-show. Too much has been written about this, but the complaint is simply this: it isn’t funny, and it’s supposed to be legendary. With the return of prodigal sons/comedy geniuses Perry and Bradley Whitford, the show is apparently in some process of revolutionizing television. How? With a skit where Juliette Lewis hosts Meet the Press? With something called “Crazy Christians” (which asserts, get ready for this, that Christians believe in a man in a sky! YOWZA!)? A guy doing a bad Nicolas Cage? With a comeback special involving an orchestrated song? We are supposed to buy the upward momentum that the show-within-the-show is creating, but its hard to believe when they have yet to produce a funny moment.

I’ll keep watching, but I may give up on it. I certainly won’t shed any tears if it’s cancelled.

FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS gets a lot right, but it gets more wrong. Two actors are exceptional, and they are so good that it makes you forget you’re watching TEXAS 90210, right down the key trope where 26 year olds playing 17 year olds. The two actors worth mentioning are Kyle Chandler as a Coach who hates politics and his shrill, awful wife (or at least he should; she’s a pest), and Zach Gilford, the 24-year-old playing 16-year-old Matt Saracen. Though Gilford looks like he should be finishing law school, he is uncanny is his ability to play an inarticulate kid who has trouble looking people in the eye but just so happens to be blessed with the tools of a great athlete.

When they are not on screen, we’re given a sultry, Brando-esque 25 year old playing the 18 year old fullback, a hunky 27 year old playing the 18 year old embittered, paralyzed quarterback, and a 26 year old playing a cheerleader who “gets around.” ** None of them are particularly good, as each alternates between brooding, moping, shouting, crying, grinning seductively for a shot destined to make a Seventeen cover or a James Blunt video, more brooding, and finally revelating (a word I made up that it is a key factor of all these DAWSONS CREEKS shows; it usually begins with, “There’s something I have to tell you.”)

At first, I was taken by how real the football seemed. But so far, all but one game has come down to a last second play. Two of the games have been won by trick plays. This puts it in the same lame-ass category as REMEMBER THE TITANS and OLIVER STONE’S MOVIE ABOUT FOOTBALL THAT WAS REALLY ABOUT THE EVILS OF CAPITALISM. There is a pretty good chance that every game will be won or lost by one of the four characters we’re supposed to focus on. Football is pretty hard to film, which explains why there is so little of it in the show. The rest is dedicated to the dopey soap operas of West Texas.

Unlike STUDIO 60, I’m pretty much giving up on this one. However, despite the relative mediocrity of both movie and TV show, the book of FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS remains one of my five favorite books ever written. I have read it about four times and will probably read it again.

I have been enjoying 30 ROCK, because of how paradoxically inane and clever it is able to be. And MY NAME IS EARL and THE OFFICE are reaching their peaks. No matter what anyone says, LOST is still terrific. And I’ve been Netflixing “THE WIRE,” which is brutal but awesome. Any shows worth watching?

** - As you can tell, I have a real problem with this. Seventeen year old girls think they're supposed to be able to look like the aforementioned 26 year old actress/model playing an eighteen year old. The show markets itself to young audiences, and then casts them unrealistically. Besides the cheerleader, there is another "17 year old" who could turn around and conceivably play Jackie Kennedy. The argument has been made that adolescent actors just can't perform as well as these more-mature stars. My argument to the gang at FNL: try harder. I'm around high school kids all the time and they look and act nothing like the kids you're putting on screen. That's why "Young" Mr. Gilford stands out, because he manages to convey something of the growing pains of an actual teenager. The rest are like something concocted by someone who has only read about high school. Try to cast the show with actually 18 year olds; or at least actual 20 year olds playing eighteen year olds.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

BEST ALBUM OF THE YEAR


Its . . .

Honorable Mention

OK GO, Oh No; Built To Spill, YOU IN REVERSE; She Wants Revenge, SHE WANTS REVENGE; The Soundtrack for STRANGER THAN FICTION; The Walkmen, A HUNDRED MILES OFF; Thom Yorke, THE ERASER; Wolfmother, WOLFMOTHER; The Strokes, FIRST IMPRESSIONS OF EARTH; The Hold Steady, BOYS AND GIRLS IN AMERICA; Bobby Bare Jr. Young Criminal’s Starvation League, THE LONGEST MEOW; Cat Power, THE GREATEST; Damien Rice, NINE



10. EEF BARZELAY, Bitter Honey

How can I bump Thom Yorke and The Strokes for my resident favorite guy you’ve never heard of? Easy: favoritism. I continue to nurture my hideous manlove for this four-eyed Jewish guy who really doesn’t look like he should be an alt-country headliner.

  1. TV ON THE RADIO, Return to Cookie Mountain

I really want to see these guys live. They deserve a lot of the “best upcoming band/best band in the world” press they’re getting.

  1. MARK KNOPFLER AND EMMYLOU HARRIS, All the Roadrunning

A joy. The best match since Peanut Butter and Jelly. Here’s hoping this is just the first of many collaborations.

  1. JOSH RITTER, The Animal Years

I may be the only person out there who likes his earlier album, GOLDEN AGE OF RADIO, better. But this is still an excellent album. He is the best at what he does. If all singer-songwriters had the same self-effacing heartland swagger as Ritter, we wouldn’t have a problem.

  1. THE FLAMING LIPS, At War With The Mystics

Has anyone else heard the rumors that you can play this along with Star Wars?

  1. ELF POWER, Back To The Web

If the better psychedelic efforts of the 60's had any kind of hindsight and overview, this would be the album they’d produce.

  1. NEKO CASE, Fox Confessor Brings The Flood

I saw her at the Hi-Tone and she rocked. When she sings STAR WITNESS, I feel like my heart is going to explode.

  1. THE DECEMBERISTS, The Crane Wife

Surprise, Surprise, right? After the hook-y PICARESQUE, my favorite album from last year, Meloy and co. return to HER MAJESTY THE DECEMBERISTS form. Only here they’ve continued to make that ambitious move of turning all their songs about pirates into some unpublished 18th Century novel that you could have sworn you saw on PBS.

2. BECK, The Information

I think it’s one of Beck's best albums – that incredibly listenable bouncy pop and energy that never tries too hard to be loved. Is anyone working at as high a level as Mr. Odelay? Sadly, this album is being overlooked because of some kind of snobbery.

1. DESTROYER, Destroyers Rubies

Troubadour/Punk/New Pornographer Dan Bejar rocks out this almost ridiculously ambitious album. At once heartfelt and ridiculous, full of a violent passion. It has an emotional power that hangs with you three weeks later. I think this guy loves what he does and it shows. Bejar’s earlier efforts, YOUR BLUES and STREETHAWK: A SEDUCTION, are both really good, but nothing anticipated this.

TEN FAVORITE SONGS OF THE YEAR

1. Demon Valley, Bobby Bare Jr.

2. Your Blood, Destroyer

3. Star Witness, Neko Case

4. Ballad of Bitter Honey, Eef Barzelay

5. Painter in Your Pocket, Destroyer

6. Think I’m In Love, Beck

7. The Spider and the Fly, Elf Power

8. These Thing, She Wants Revenge

9. Goin’ Against Your Mind, Built To Spill

10. Dirtywhirl, TV on the Radio

Strangely, I didn’t buy or steal any albums I didn’t like. I don’t think.

Five Albums I bought this year that didn’t come out this year that I really liked

1. Recent Songs, Leonard Cohen

2. Here Come The Warm Jets, Brian Eno

3. Roy Orbison, Mystery Girl

4. Steely Dan, Katy Lied

5. The Byrds, Sweetheart of the Rodeo

Keep reading, kids!