In perhaps his most famous lecture, SELF-RELIANCE, Ralph Waldo Emerson delivered a stirring call for the coming age of the transcendental identity. "Trust thyself," said Waldo, "Every heart vibrates to that iron string." If Emerson's weltanshaung can be summed up in a sentence, this is it. If you look most inner, you'll discover yourself and (this is a key trope in all of American literature) create yourself. In the same way that Walt Whitman created himself by "sing"ing himself into existence, through an alter-ego that is one of the kosmos, the new American identity was based on this apparent paradox: that the transcendent is within, not without.

In NATURE, he closes by noting that "Man is a god in ruins." The exhortation is clear, and though Emerson is vague and invites close, practically microscopic readings, this is spelled in bold letters - through elaborate allegory and commonplaces. Man has moved away from his nature. focused to much on the "bones" and "sepulchres" of the past, and left that vibrating inner string that is true in perfect. "g"ods are perfect and so can man be, but he's lost it.

Who's to blame? The church, for one. In THE DIVINITY SCHOOL ADDRESS, Waldo claimed, in front of a graduating class of future pastors, that historic Christianity put a "noxious" influence on the person (read: divinity) of Christ. Tradition is also to blame, as he writes in another lecture, THE AMERICAN SCHOLAR: "We have listened too long to the courtly muses of Europe." And in CIRCLES, he seems to suggest that such "noxious" tradition has made us buy into illusion: that we are living in completed humanity and can go no further, when in fact we are only in the middle of a never-ending cycle that becomes greater as it goes. The end result? I think he'd think of a better way to say it, but it boils down to an epiphany that links us with the very "god"hood we've lost.

Move on. Move on. Move on. Look internally and move externally. Find your calling. Once I find what is unique about me it is going to be good. The question I constantly ask, but get no answer of, from Emerson and Walt Whitman is this: what about Jack the Ripper? I pick a figure who is practically their contemporary, but you can substitute a blank a fill it in. John Wayne Gacy. Hannibal Lecter. Ted Bundy. Osama Bin Laden.

Aren't these just guys who found their calling? Aren't these just guys who trusted themselves? Too much?

Emerson did not have much truck for Calvinism. When he speaks about grace, he usually refers to it in a sense of "elegance and beauty." Occasionally he writes about an endowed spirit over all of humanity, but that comes from an over-soul, a guiding presence that's about as far from Yahweh as Buddha.

I love the way he says it. But I don't like what he says. Ultimately he offers a vain solution to our desire for transcendence, and I stagger when I wonder if anyone has found anything close to peace when searching inside himself.

LATEST NEWS ON THE GUNS N' ROSES "CHINESE DEMOCRACY" ALBUM!

I cannot reveal my sources . . . okay, it's the Wikipedia.

First, I find it amusing that if you search for Chinese Democracy on the wiki, you get the actual page about the progress of liberalization/revolution in China, followed by this helpful note:

This article is about the political movement in China. For the Guns N' Roses album, see Chinese Democracy.

But here's some interesting quotes from the oddly exhaustive Wikipedia article:

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1. On April 1, 2006, critic Chuck Klosterman wrote a tongue-in-cheek review of Chinese Democracy at SPIN.com. It was an April Fool's Joke.
2. According to a March 2005 New York Times article, production costs for the album have reached $13 million, probably the most expensive recording ever. Mercuriadis, however, refuted the article in a letter and claimed that the newspaper's sources for the article had not been involved with the project for "six to nine years."
3. During a backstage interview at the 2006 MTV Video Music Awards on August 31, 2006, Axl once again stated that Chinese Democracy will be released this year.
4. Sebastian Bach stated that Axl had played the album in full to poolside guests in his mansion after the September 23rd concert.
5. In September 2005, the Finnish band The Dogshit Boys released their fifth album, also bearing the name Chinese Democracy.

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All this to say, in many circles, CHINESE DEMOCRACY carries the combined pop heftiness of the Elvis Comeback Special, The Beach Boys' 15 Big Ones, The Beatles playing on a rooftop, and the recent joint announcement by Bono and Eddie Vedder that they aren't going to suck anymore (OK the last one didn't happen, but, hey, I can dream).

Just put it into perspective: APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION was a legendary album. It is one of the greatest rock albums ever made - the ironic soundtrack of my fifth grade year*. GNR became a phenomenon, and had the audacity to release two CDs as a followup, both of which hit the top of the charts. Then they disappeared. Axl got fat, the rest of the guys got drugged up, Axl got drugged up, and fourteen years later, after that hideous Velvet Revolver fiasco, Guns and freaking Roses are back (minus the rest of the guys).

And according to Axl, certainly one of the most charismatic and disgusting band frontmen of my lifetime, we may have this album, which he has been talking about for the last eight years, in our hands by December.

Did I mention that Sebastian Bach is involved? Does this make you more excited, less excited, thoroughly creeped out? Discuss.

Things are going to change, I can feel it.

Get the Klosterman April Fools Joke here

* - Imagine a gangly, awkward, thick-glassesed eleven year old playing Gyromite and being nervous about going to church, rocking out to PARADISE CITY.

Here are two EXCELLENT Slate articles. I get annoyed at Slate when they write about politics (pinkos) or sports (fanboy weiners) , but I like their TV/Pop Culture stuff, particular the writer of the first article, Sam Anderson. He wrote a great encomium/obituary/explanation of Mitch Hedberg.

1. Anderson explains why Weird Al Yankovic matters. He better articulates a point I've been making for years: that Weird Al deserves a lot of street cred for sticking to his aesthetic. He has never gone over into that creepy Bob Saget Caricature where he has to dirtify himself in order to maintain success. The guy is kooky, creative, innocent, and a true original.

2. This article vents all my frustration with STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP. It's brilliantly written at points and hopeless at others. It fails miserably at emulating the SNL set comedy, and that's a key dynamic of the show: if the comedy isn't good, why are Matt and Danny (Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford) such industry geniuses, and why is the show-within-a-show enjoying renewed success? I love the scheming network politics and balance between industry and art, but there's just something wrong with that setup. Still, I find it very enjoyable, and hope that it lasts.

Enjoy!

As far as great, underrated albums go, few top the Beach Boys' SURFS UP. It's the forgotten masterpiece of the Beach Boys' discography, a flawless, fascinating, and potent document of the times that features songs that should be classics but aren't. It is at once nostalgic (Disney Girls 1957), political (Student Demonstration Time), a lyrically inventive (Feel Flows), and utterly evocative in its sublime depiction of nature (a trademark of early 70s Beach Boys; see the equally underrated HOLLAND). It may be album that SMILE never was, and yet it always sits in the shadow of what SMILE could have been. The operatic final track SURFS UP, written by Brian Wilson and Van Dyke Parks, is one of their best songs, and was originally set to be included on SMILE. An overload on the senses, puzzlingly metaphorical beyond comprehension, and at times unbearably sad ("The music all is lost for now"), it seems to be Wilson's attempt to reconcile his bubble-gum career with his high art ambitions. He sings, "I heard the word / Wonderful Thing / A children's song."

The Beach Boys/Beatles argument continues to rage, even though the Beatles seem to be dominating on all counts. The Beatles did RUBBER SOUL, which inspired PET SOUNDS, which in turn inspired SGT. PEPPERS. But then the Fab 4 came back with MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR, the White album, ABBEY ROAD, and LET IT BE. The Beach Boys, due to the fight over SMILE, came out with the sadly mediocre, compromised SMILEY SMILE. Next was the excellent WILD HONEY, and then three forgettable albums before SURFS UP. Also, in the next year, their attempt to reinvent themselves as "Carl and the Passions" was oddly interesting at best and ultimate proved a critical and commercial failure. *

Which is why I consider SURFS UP a comeback album, a return to graces by the greats. A powerhouse. Unfortunately, other than HOLLAND, the album marked the beginning of the end (although, technically, I guess the SMILE sessions were the beginning a very slow, drawn-out end, but whatever). Unless you're considering Kokomo the equivalent of the Elvis Comeback Special, in which case I'll ask you how many times you've seen the movie COCKTAIL.

Also, it is quite possibly my favorite album cover ever - check out the irony: the Boys give it a title straight from their surfcorvettesafarisuntanlotion days and give us for imagery this baroque, bleak deathly image.

This usually gets grouped into albums that either Dennis or Carl exerted too much influence over, but Brian still sings most of the songs. And as much as Mike Love seems to be reviled for his lack of ambition and love of convention, the album owes much to his bewilderingly calm humming of the opening track, "Don't Go Near The Water" - his pretty melody hides a scary economic message that's eventually whitewashed for a feel-good message. But it works. Maybe Love wasn't even in on the joke (apparently, he loathed the Van Dyke Parks influence). I don't know.

Here's two Beach Boys-related thought I've had:

1. What if SURF'S UP had been the follow up album to PET SOUNDS? Would the Beach Boys have had that post-1966 Beatles success? As of now, I think not. This is a much more soulful, less ambitious album. The world was waiting for Good Vibrations and SMILE.

2. If SMILE, as Brian Wilson released it in '04, hit in 1967, would there have been a general letdown? Maybe. But that's a wild jump of logic, as it assumes that what he finally put together 30 some odd years later was exactly what he wanted to make at the height of his creative success.

I've been listening to this album about three times a week for the last six months. It's moving up the list. If your sole experience with the Beach Boys is their early doo-wop (which I still argue is the best of its kind), or PET SOUNDS, or Wilson's final attempt at SMILE from two years back, then check out SURFS UP. It's my recommendation of the week.*

By the way, I love this unapologetic HARD DAYS NIGHT knockoff video. It shows the Boys at their happiest, goofiest, most carefree, after releasing their breakthrough album. Even though it's just hopping on the craze wave of wacky music videos (see Hermans Hermits, Dave Clark Five, The Monkees), it still shows why they were so infectiously likeable.

* - If you ever get a chance, check out Dennis' solo effort: PACIFIC OCEAN BLUE
** - Unfortunately, the only apparent way to buy SURFS UP today is to buy a double CD with SUNFLOWER. This is too bad, as the album art they've chosen to use is the composite photo from the SUNFLOWER album. I don't know if they ever even released SURFS UP on CD.

This review by Roger Ebert (he's back! Yes!) has me really excited about Marie Antoinette. If this is a hit, Ms. Coppola will be in a position similar to her father in the 70s, where every movie she makes inspires ecstatic anticipation - they're happenings. I really hope it's good, because I really dig her.

(the link is:)

http://rogerebert.suntimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20061019/REVIEWS/610190303

Also, FYI, the last episode of LOST was the second best ever, just behind "Everybody Hates Hugo" from Season 2. Cool Twin Peaks dream sequences.

Yes. I'm Back.

Be careful not to drown in all the inevitable confetti.

(Pause for elation/annoyance/confusion.)

So Why "The Gash?"

I decided to pick a blog name based on the first song that popped up on my Ipod Shuffle. That song, unfortunately, was "War, What Is It Good For?" The next song was "Lightnin' Hopkins" - Cool, but it's the R.E.M. song and I would anger the four people who found out about it, thinking this to be a page dedicated to the legendary blues guitarist (or basketball player, whatever he is). Finally, this song from the Flaming Lips' masterpiece Soft Bulletin came up. It fits. This is The Gash, baby.

BTW, I'm still "Andytown." "The Gash" is "Andytown"'s new blog.

Why did I stop blogging?

No comments. The global village I had envisioned turned out to consist of mainly two of my former students and three people who I could no longer have a conversation with because they'd already read it on my blog. That and I got bored. Any wonder why I'm still single?

Also, I tried the myspace thing and got thoroughly creeped out. Rarely a day passed when some "eighteen year old" "girl" from "Jackson, Tennessee" didn't want me to watch her webcam. Also, one of my friend's wives starting haranguing me about how much I used it, when I did not in fact use it very much.

Why did I delete it?

I'm not sure . . . I still maintain that I didn't.

Why did I start again?

Why the hell not? Although, mainly I'm going to use this as an online forum for some writing ideas. Not to say that you're going to read my Great American Novel (which, by the way, I'm writing: a new development - actually I'm writing the precursor to my G.A.N. This is more of my breakthrough novel. Melville did it.), but I got the idea talking to my friend Kyle Wells, who is much much smarter than me, and often gives good advice that I don't take, because I assume I'll screw it up somehow. Kyle told me he thought it was a good idea to have some kind of online journal. Him being a pastor-in-training (and soon to be a really good one, I'll bet), and me being a professor-in-training (and probably the kind who hands out "A"s the way guys outside strip clubs hand out fliers), it makes sense to try to write a little bit about the things you are studying/reading/thinking about.

Also, Ralph Waldo Emerson did it. And I'm obsessed with him. Blogging is the new journalling. Don't worry. You're not going to read in here about how I didn't get enough love from my parents.

But no movie reviews? No rant about the state of standup comedy? No vivid descriptions of spam I've received? No pointless youtube links? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Just not as much of it.

I expect "The Gash" to be a more serious endeavor - generally more contemplative, thoughtful, creative, polished, edited, and personal.

Therefore, I expect to have even fewer readers than I had before. All this to say, I'm no longer pandering for comments. No more "hey, tell me whats on your Ipod?!" followed by an embarrassing shame on you letter for not participating in Hands Across the Internet.

Enter at your risk.

But first here's what I've been up to:

MOVIES WATCHED IN THE THEATER (since August):

THE BLACK DAHLIA (sucked)
HALF NELSON (a little overrated, but good)
THE DEPARTED (awesome, I can't say anything that hasn't already been said, just an awesome flick)
LITTLE CHILDREN (not as good as the book, but thoughtfully and artfully done)

DYING TO SEE:

MARIE ANTOINETTE
THE FOUNTAIN (Maybe; it could be really pretentious)

MOVIES NETFLIXED (since August) (full disclosure):

THE FRENCH CONNECTION II
WHY SHOULD THE DEVIL HAVE ALL THE GOOD MUSIC?
BRICK
INTERIORS
PRISON BREAK (started watching it, lost interest about episode five)
KICKING AND SCREAMING (Noah Baumbach, not Will Ferrell - I loved it, as did I love)
MR. JEALOUSY (His underrated second feature)
THE VELVET UNDERGROUND: UNDER REVIEW
THE SENTINEL (Worst movie of the year; a soulless action movie that will be a permanent black spot on Michael Douglas's career. He should hope noone watches it)
THE SMITHS: UNDER REVIEW
LUCKY NUMBER SLEVIN (Loud, trashy, manipulative, illogical, stupid, derivative . . . I loved every minute of it. Seriously)
TAP (Best tap dancing cat burglar movie ever made. Period.)
METROPOLITAN; BARCELONA; THE LAST DAYS OF DISCO (I will blog about Whit Stillman at some point. This "trilogy" is masterful.)
ENTOURAGE: FIRST SEASON (Great stuff)

BOOKS READ

... Actually I only finished two Richard Yates novels: THE EASTER PARADE and A GOOD SCHOOL. I'm about halfway through a biography of Ralph Waldo Emerson by Ralph Rusk, and two thirds of a book about "queer theory" (the reimagining of male friendships through a modern eye) by Caleb Crain called AMERICAN SYMPATHY. It's really compelling. I've been skimming through two other biographies: one on Jazz legend Charles Mingus, the other on the aforementioned Mr. Yates (blogpost to come).

TRAVELLED TO

New Orleans
New York (went to Game 2 of the NLCS Playoffs!)

THOUGHTS ON THE NEW DECEMBERISTS ALBUM

It's great. More like their old stuff, not as many hooks as PICARESQUE, but great. And just in case you thought it was a phase, I'm more obsessed with Steely Dan than ever.

THOUGHTS ON THE NEW LOST SEASON

I'm hooked. Remember that Season two didn't get kicking until around episode eight. Also, I've enjoyed the trashing, incredibly self-serious STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP, which might get cancelled. And the last three OFFICE episodes have been as good as any that have been on yet. They're really catching their stride.

UPCOMING:

Very little other than a paper about Macbeth and one about the teacher/student relationship between R.W. Emerson and Walt Whitman.

REMINDER:

check out FILMSPOTTING

It's still one of my favorite hours of the week, even if its interspersed over the course of ten car trips.

And also check out Joey Pensak's blog.

I don't expect your comments.

Early notices on this blogpost:

"THE GASH is so insignificant we're not even going to make a snarky comment about it" - Pitchfork.com

"THE GASH is like eating a delicious batch of cookies, only to find out that you live in a mental institution, and you have just swallowed twelve tongue depressers" - The American Medical Association (tm)

"THE GASH is a deathtrap. Do not live there under any circumstances." - The American Tenants Association

"This fiscal season, THE GASH shows little to no chance of making a profit." - Forbes Magazine

"Well, at least he's doing SOMETHING." - Andytown's friends and extended family.